Mediation and Christmas – Agreeing where children spend the holidays

The festive season is a time of joy, celebration, and family gatherings. However, for separated or divorced parents, it can also be a period of stress and conflict.

For so many separated parents, there is often conflict when there is no clear plan for where the children will spend the holidays. In the UK, the law provides several avenues to resolve such disputes, with mediation being a preferred method.

This article explores the role of mediation in resolving disputes about child arrangements during Christmas to help preserve the festive spirit for the children and offers guidance on what to do when there is no plan in place.

What is mediation?

Mediation is a voluntary process where a neutral third party, known as a mediator, helps the disputing parties to reach an agreement. In the context of family law, mediation can be used to resolve a wide range of issues, including child arrangements during the holidays. The mediator does not make decisions for the parties but facilitates communication and negotiation between them to help them reach a mutually acceptable solution.

What are the benefits of mediation?

Mediation offers several advantages over litigation. It is generally quicker, less stressful, and less expensive than going to court. It also allows the parties to maintain control over the decision-making process, which can be particularly beneficial when dealing with sensitive issues such as child arrangements. Moreover, mediation encourages cooperation and communication, which can help to improve the long-term relationship between the parents, ultimately benefiting the children.

What does mediation involve?

The mediation process typically begins with an initial meeting, known as a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). During this meeting, the mediator will explain the process, assess whether mediation is suitable for your situation, and answer any questions you may have. If both parties agree to proceed with mediation, the mediator will arrange a series of sessions where you and the other parent can discuss your issues. These sessions are confidential, and the mediator will ensure that both parties have an equal opportunity to express their views and concerns. During the mediation sessions, the mediator will help you and the other parent to explore different options and negotiate an agreement. If an agreement is reached, the mediator will draft a Memorandum of Understanding, which outlines the terms of the agreement. This document is not legally binding, but it can be converted into a legally binding court order if necessary.

How can mediation help when there is no plan?

If you and the other parent have not yet agreed on where the children will spend Christmas, mediation can be an effective way to resolve this issue. Below are some steps you can take:

Contacting a mediator

The first step is to contact a mediator. You can find a mediator through the Family Mediation Council or the National Family Mediation. It's important to do this as early as possible to allow enough time for the mediation process.

Attending a MIAM

Both parents are usually required to attend a MIAM before starting mediation. This meeting will help you understand what mediation involves and whether it's the right approach for your situation.

Preparing for mediation

Before the mediation sessions, think about what you want to achieve and any potential compromises you might be willing to make. It can also be helpful to seek legal advice so that you understand your rights and responsibilities.

Participating in mediation

During the mediation sessions, try to stay open-minded, listen to the other parent's perspective, and focus on the best interests of the children. Remember, the goal is not to 'win' but to reach a solution that works for everyone.

Implementing the agreement

If an agreement is reached, make sure you understand the terms and how they will be implemented. If necessary, you can ask the mediator to draft a court order to make the agreement legally binding.

In conclusion, while disputes about child arrangements during Christmas can be challenging, mediation offers a constructive and cooperative way to resolve these issues. By focusing on the best interests of the children and working towards a mutually acceptable solution, parents can ensure that the festive season is a time of joy and celebration for everyone.

This does not constitute legal advice; its purpose is to offer general information on current legal matters for general interest.