Should Children Be Involved In The Mediation Process?

Going through divorce or separation is challenging, especially when there are children involved. If your children are old enough, they might show signs of worry or concern throughout this difficult period.

If your children are fully aware of the circumstances at hand, they might also express their preferences about what they would like to happen. Although a child's input should be prioritised, is it right for them to be involved in the mediation process? To learn more about the mediation process and whether or not children should be involved, continue reading.

What is Mediation?

Mediation is a process that helps parties come to an agreement. The process offers a way to mend broken relationships or general issues with the help of a mediator. Typically, mediation is commonly used when couples struggle to resolve ongoing issues or disputes that arise throughout their separation or divorce.

The process for both parties in this scenario can be overwhelming and stressful, but in many cases, mediation is necessary. Although mediation is completely voluntary, it’s often advised when issues aren't getting resolved, especially when young children are involved.

Can Children be Involved in the Mediation Process?

In the UK, it is legal for children to be involved in the mediation process. However, child-inclusive mediation requires approval from both parents, and an agreement will usually have to be signed.

It's important to consider your children's age before allowing them to get involved in the mediation process - generally, children who are aged 10 or above are allowed to be involved in the process.

But, the mediator might recommend that your child doesn't take part due to the possibility of them lacking the ability to process their emotions or understand what is going on and how it will affect them.

Is it Fair to Involve Your Children in the Mediation Process?

Yes, if both parents and the child have consented to be a part of the mediation process, there is no problem with them being involved. It’s important that your child isn't forced into mediation, and is involved because they want to be.

As discussed, if your children are old enough to have their say on perhaps a relationship breakdown or divorce, and fully understand what’s going on, then they should be able to be involved. To have children involved in the mediation process, you’ll have a child-inclusive mediation.

What is Child Inclusive Mediation?

Child-inclusive mediation allows children to be part of the mediation process in a structured and practical way. This particular process allows children to have their say during mediation, as well as other parties involved (their parents).

Many children want to be involved in the process and comment on separation and divorce matters. Children must get to have their say when they request to, as the overall situation of separation or divorce can impact their everyday lives massively. During a child-inclusive mediation, children often share opinions on:

• Who they’d prefer to live with
• How much time they’d like to spend with each parent
• How much contact do they want with the rest of their family (for example, grandparents)

Before the mediation takes place, a child-inclusive mediator will likely go through some questions with the two parties involved - this can range from asking how they'll react to certain feedback and whether they understand the rights that their children have.

When Should You Include Children in the Mediation Process?

Parents want to involve their child or children in the mediation process to provide them with a safe space to discuss their feelings and opinions. It can be stressful for children to talk about living arrangements and other matters, as they likely don’t want to disappoint either of their parents or cause any upset.

In many cases, children simply tell each parent what they want to hear, which can actually cause greater conflict. During the process, a mediator will help your child process their views and form clear opinions about what they would like to happen in the future.

The bottom line is that, if both parents and their children consent to be involved in the mediation process, and the child is of a suitable age and understands the situation at hand, they can be involved in a child-inclusive mediation.

Seeking Expert Assistance to Deal With Family Matters

If you're going through separation, dissolution, or divorce, and need professional assistance during this time, you'll be glad to know that we can help. At Bell Lamb & Joynson, we offer a variety of services, and our Family Law solicitors are here to be by your side through life's ups and downs.

We understand how challenging it can be to face issues with your partner, and at worst, divorce. However, when there are children involved, it's always best to seek expert advice and guidance. We can help you with your family matters - get in touch today to find out more. We look forward to hearing from you soon.